


Pain Makes Me Feel Like I'm More Alive

by Jonsona



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Twins, Female My Unit | Byleth, Gen, Major character death - Freeform, Male My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth Twins, fight to the death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27207286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonsona/pseuds/Jonsona
Summary: After the Battle of Tailtean Plains, the last remnants of the Kingdom's army has finally been defeated, along with Seiros being forced to withdraw with the Church's forces. Yet while victory is indeed at hand, there is still one last obstacle standing in the Imperial's way that only Byleth feels obligated to handle; where an unsettled dispute from five years prior is finally put to rest.
Kudos: 7





	Pain Makes Me Feel Like I'm More Alive

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING
> 
> If you are a fan of anime and/or also into Feudal Japan's aesthetic films, then I strongly recommend giving Sword of the Stranger a watch before reading this archive. The scene itself that I've written is borrowed quite heavily from the final fight in the film, but doesn't necessarily spoil anything at all. However, if you do want to read before giving it a watch, then I do recommend giving "Ihojin No Yaiba" a listen in order to get into the mood and setting that this archive gets into.
> 
> Lastly, I've gotten into this nasty habit where I would begin on a project that would require multiple chapters which *at first* I'd be motivated to write all the way through, but would ultimately end up completely losing interest halfway through, so instead I'm just going to be putting out one-shots whenever I feel motivated to write scenes or moments such as these.
> 
> Regardless, I hope you enjoy, and as always, reviews are appreciated. 
> 
> :)

The biting cold of the ice encompassed Bilith's body; who shivered uncontrollably as he mustard all of his strength in order to free himself from his frozen cell that held him in place. The first limb to break free was his right arm, the only part of his body other than his head to be completely enclosed by the ice, as he thrust it forward and used its momentum to propel his shoulder forward. The ice crackled as the spell that bound him was weakened further as his other arm also began to break free.

With labored and chilled breath, the professor made one last surge forward with both arms- his limbs aching and his nerves shot with pain despite the overwhelming cold that numbed him. But he did not care. Even as he fell forward and his imprisonment crumbled to an icy dust, he'd kept his bloodshot eyes on the lump of blue that lied face-down on the muddy stone floor several meters away from.

Meanwhile, Empress Edelgard, who stood over what used to be the last living King of Faerghus, turned and brushed aside the few strands of hair that had fallen as the downpour finally began to cease. She lowered her weapon _Amyr_ as she watched her professor Byleth nearby pulling the Sword of the Creator free from Dedue's chest after transforming back into his human self among his passing.

The twin daughter of Jeralt grimaced as she wiped her blade, clearly unsettled by the battle that had just transpired. Bodies from both the Imperial Army and the Knights of Faerghus littered the muddy plains, along with many soldiers that had fought under the banner of the Church, but not near the fraction of the death toll that the other two factions had sustained.

Byleth looked up towards Edelgard, whose attention was not on her, but past her as she turned around to see her brother crawling rigorously through the blood-soaked mud, water, and stone. His wet hair clung to this face and over his eyes, gritting his teeth and grunted ways that almost sounded as a snarl as he dragged himself towards Dimitre's limp body. Byleth's heart sunk upon the scene that she and everyone within the Imperial Army was witnessing. She watched as her twin brother shook uncontrollably, as though the chill from the ice still persisted within him, but showed no sign of slowing him down.

Nobody made a move to stop him as he finally reached Dimitri's body, whom he rolled over and placed a trembling hand over his face. The dead King's eyes had been closed, and his face was soft as though he had found peace among Edelgard's hasty execution, finally released from the voices that once plagued his thoughts throughout all those years. As for Bilith, his expression also softened as he looked down at his once dead student's peaceful face. He said nothing, nor did anyone that began the gather around utter a single world.

Meanwhile, a glimpse caught Byleth's eye from the tall hills behind the now-ruined fortification of the Tailtean Plains. She could see Rhea- who now pretentiously called herself Seiros, along with the vast majority of the Church's army- watched them from a distance as the Imperials asserted dominance over the remaining forces over the Knights of Faerghus, before turning and disappearing over the horizon.

Her grip tightened around the Sword of the Creator and gritted her teeth as her eyes shot towards her brother, who wore the battle garments representing the Church of Seiros and wielding the same sword and shield that Seiros had once used to defeat Nemises all that time ago. It made her sick. But Bilith did not seem to care about Rhea's treachery as he sat on his knees with Dimitri's upper body propped up on his lap, brushing his soaked hair aside in continued silence. Until finally, Byleth couldn't hold herself back any longer.

“Brother, you must listen to me!” She shot at him, dropping the Sword before stepping forward. Bilith made no reaction as though he could not hear his sister's plea, keeping his eyes fixated on Dimitri.

It took everything she had to stop herself from rushing forward. “Can't you see? It's over now! Rhea's gone, she's left both of you for dead! Please, think about this, you can still-.”

“Can still what?” Bilith asked flatly.

This caught Byleth by surprise, and found herself unable to find the words to finish what she was going to say. But Bilith finished it for her. “I can still join you and reunite with my family?”

These words, along with the deadpanned tone and expression from her twin sibling, stung more than any other blade she had ever experienced. Even more so than the wound Bilith had inflicted on her 5 years ago in the battle for Garreg Mach over the Sword of the Creator; the same blade that had left the scar on her side and sent her into a coma under a cryostasis spell. That very same scar seemed to burn more furiously than ever because that blank voice and stare towards her was the very same as the one he had towards any stranger or foe as though nothing bothered him at all, same as her, and she had already known exactly what this meant.

Bilith shook his head. He delicately lowers Dimitri's head back down on the ground, crossing both arms over his student's chest with _Areadbar_ resting on top and fingers intertwined around it.

He stands, undoing the pin the held the cloak over his shoulders and allowing the symbol of the Church to fall into the mud. Bilith also drops the Shield of Seiros and begins to draw her sword. The soldiers surrounding him immediately reacted and raised their own weapons, but Edelgard raised a hand as an order to stand down. This allowed Bilith to then toss the weapon aside along with his hair ornament as he walk over to a nearby dead soldier and taking up a normal sword. “My family is gone,” he murmurs, turning to her and raising his newly acquired weapon.

Byleth's chest felt as though it were on the edge of exploding. She so badly wanted to scream and yell, yank the sword out of her brother's hand and somehow knock some sense into him. But the reality was, she realized, was that she had made her own final decision five years back, leading to their confrontation and what ultimately tore the two siblings apart. She believed so desperately that she was right from the perspective that she saw towards the Church of Seiros, that she didn't even bother to try and understand the perspective her own brother saw. Byleth had made her choice, and now Bilith was making his.

A sense of calmness washed over her as the reality of the situation finally set in. Her expression also became empty and emotionless, and suddenly there was an atmosphere of unease among the soldiers. She handed out the Sword towards Edelgard, who firmly took it in her hand and snapped her fingers with the other. The nearest soldier immediately drew one of his own swords and offered it delicately to Byleth, who took it by the handle without uttering a word of thanks, and immediately the crowd of soldiers backed away until there was now a circle of about a thirty foot radius surrounding the twins.

The Empress watched as both mercenaries kept their eyes trained on one another as Bilith flexed his over his weapon's handle in as though he were attempting to stave off the cold that still beseeches him. Byleth meanwhile puts herself in a ready stance, taking steps counter clockwise around the circle with her brother mimicking her movement and moving away from Dimitri's body.

They continued this cycle for a few more steps before finally coming to a stop, and there was a pregnant silence as everyone held their breath for what is about transpire before them. And for several long and tense moments, both fighters did not move a muscle as they stood in mirrored stances.

It wasn't until Bilith finally makes the first move and rushed towards Byleth, who came came at her swiftly with three ferocious strikes. Byleth also moved forward a little bit to meet his lightning fast attacks with equally swift parries as she rotated around him and immediately began to back away, with her sword still high on guard. Bilith cocked his neck and wasted no time keeping up the offensive as he went in a second time, keeping her on the defensive as she continued to match her speed with his.

From the crowd's perspective, the two combatants went at each other like two crazed demons as the sound of steel clashed harder echoed out into the open field. They moved with such speed that was unlike anything they had ever seen before, unable to make out exactly what was going on as the sibling danced around one another as they try to somehow gain the upper hand. However, at some point, Bilith was eventually able to feign an attack which Byleth fell for, allowing him to strike with a gut punch and followed it with a kick into her chest, causing her to stumble back.

But she was able to recover quickly and let out an aggravated grunt and advanced on her adversary this time, catching him a little off guard. He quickly dodged and parried all incoming attacks as he began to back up towards the edge of the circle, until eventually when there wasn't enough room to back away from, the crowd immediately parted ways in order to create the extra space.

Bilith stopped just at the edge before finally standing his ground; and sparks flew as he committed to a incredibly dangerous counterattack that left him exposed as he went in for the strike. And upon seeing no way to winning this fight while also losing it, Byleth jumped out of the way just in the nick of time, just barely getting grazed by her opponents blade, but not before leaving her own mark on him and backing away. Both were breathing heavily after this exchange, with their clothing having been subjected to many near misses in the process along with a couple short cuts over their arms and face.

They continued to stand where they were for a short period of time, and the only sounds that could be heard was their labored breaths but still remaining on guard. Suddenly, there was a howling wind and the rain began to pour again. Seconds later, lightning flashed across the dark plain and Bilith was once again advancing on his opponent. However this time, Byleth parried once and began to run towards the nearby crowd, with the opponent in hot pursuit.

The crowd parted once again, but this time all the way for both fighters to get through as Edelgard's professor kept up the defense as she led him toward the ruined fortress. Stone pillars and baron archways that were the subsequent result of the most recent battle were all that stood within the ruins, and both siblings weaving their way through it as the fighting persisted. Eventually, the fighting led to a set of stairs that was somehow still standing, leading Byleth to try to multitask climbing it and defending herself which ultimately resulted in a strike to the lower shin.

She powered through this however and eventually made it to the top, and now the two ashen demons were balancing themselves on top of the pillars of stone as the fight made it's way back toward the plains, but the pillars and archways were proven to be extremely weak given how difficult it was to find and hold a footing, until eventually they started to collapse. Yet, they move with enough swiftness and fortitude to stand each others ground until stopped at the last arch.

It finally comes to a standstill as Bilith, who'd been hot on Byleth's tail for nearly the entire fight, crossed swords with one another and held it there, allowing each of them to look into each others eyes with their equally blank expressions. It was Byleth to be the only one to show a hint of emotion as her lips dipped into a pleading scowl, as if making one last attempt to finally stop this senseless fight once and for all.

But her answer was received when the stone beneath them buckled, and that arch began to tip. Both parties separate, and this time Bilith did something completely unexpected as he pulled a dagger from his belt- the same exact one that their father Jeralt had also gifted to his sister and a matching set. He takes it by the blade and hurls it at her; who couldn't comprehend exactly what he'd done and raised her free arm in reaction to black it. This resulted in the blade being embedded into her forearm between the bones, cause her to yelp in surprised before they both tumbled down.

By the time the dust had settled, the rain had stopped and the sibling lied several feet apart from one another, tired, breathing heavily, and covered in rubble. Slowly however, the both of them started to get up, and while doing so, Byleth then sees the dagger in her. She looked it for a moment before being overcome with rage, an emotion that she'd never believed she was capable of. With an agonizing scream, she ripped out the blade and let it drop to the ground. Now boosted by a new surge of energy, she was able to recover faster and stormed over to Bilith before he had a chance to grab his weapon.

The two then become embroiled in an all-out fist fight, grappling, tugging and cursing as they let loose on another by trading blow after blow after blow. As this was transpiring, only Edelgard and Hubert were the ones to bear witness of this tragic circumstance. Both siblings attacking each other with upmost hatred unlike anything Edelgard herself had witnessed, and it made her sick in believing that there was nothing she could do in the matter as she turned to look away.

In the end, it was Byleth who was victorious in the exchange. Half of her face had been mutilated in equal amounts towards her brother, whose arms were now limp at his sides. And Byleth, whose nostrils were flaring with each breath she took, turned away, her eyes glued to the ground, no longer willing to participate in the senseless violence that drove them to this point and picked up his dagger. However, she'd only been able to take several steps before something zipped past her, followed by the sound of impaled flesh and a small gasp.

Byleth's gaze whipped up to see Hubert's arm raised towards her, his hand smoking with dark aura. She then immediately turned on her heels to see Byleth standing behind her, sword in hand and raised, ready to strike. But in him chest was a black pike that was radiated dark magic, undoubtedly one of the spells that Hubert had just cast. Bilith remains absolutely still as he looks down at his chest, before letting out a labored breath and dropped his sword. Eyes wide with disbelief, Byleth caught him as they both fall the ground with her brother leaning onto her.

“No...” She stammers, unable to process anything. “Nononononono, brother, w-why? Why would you do this, I don't understa-.” Her voice cracks as the built up emotion closes up her throat, rendering her unable to speak.

Bilith coughs, blood coating his gums and seeping out his mouth. He doesn't respond. Instead however, he smiles wryly before raising a trembling hand. She takes it tenderly into her own, then suddenly, he forces it forward and places both of their hands onto her chest where her heart was located.

Her surroundings suddenly change, and before she realizes it, she finds herself standing in the same empty throne room that she'd once stood in twice before, once meeting Sothis for the first time, and the second being the last. Her brother was nowhere to be seen, and Sothis herself was absent from the highly elevated stone chair that she'd once sat upon.

“The time has finally come,” a girl's voice spoke behind her, and Byleth swiveled to see Sothis standing several feet away. Her face bore nothing but ambiguity, showing no clear sign of emotion other than the narrowness of her jaded green eyes.

Byleth gave the young girl an uncertain look and opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off. “Since the day of your birth, I had been split in two- my heart divided among the both of you in the wake of your mother's desperate attempt to save her children. But with this selfless action, also came great risks. The Immaculate One is still contempt with enslaving mankind beneath her manipulation and most devoted followers. And in light of his defeat, your brother finally understood what needed to be done.”

Throughout her speech, Sothis' body began to glow more vibrant. She holds out her hand, smiling warmly. “Perhaps. had it all turned out differently, the two of you would be standing side by side, demonstrating the full extent of your abilities as you've once had against the Darkness. And now, with my soul finally in one piece, I can now grant you the ultimate power to overthrow my daughter- and rid this world of the filth that slithers beneath it.”

Byleth's thoughts go back to day where both she and Bilith had been trapped in the void of darkness- working together to bring down their father's murderer- and the last time they'd fought together on the same side of their sword. _What will you do?_ She remembered Sothis had asked her.

Now, she knew the answer.

Swallowing hard, Byleth walked up to the Progenitor God as the chamber echoed her heavy footsteps. She reached out; mimicking the same hand gesture they once shared when Sothis' merged with them five years ago. However this time, instead of phasing through them and dispersing into a brilliant gold mist, Byleth was able to make physical contact with her- and suddenly, memories began pouring in and flashed before her eyes.

It was hard to make out exactly what was going on, but she immediately picked up on many key images that she'd recognized; the battle with the bandits, the arrival to Garreg Mach, the students that they've met for the first time, until finally, they became memories she didn't even recognize. Most of them had been involving Dimitri and the rest of the Blue Lions instead of that of the Black Eagles as well as Edelgard- and it soon became clear that the memories she was experiencing were ones that belonged to Bilith, her very own brother who she shared nearly her entire life with. And at some point, the memories were moving so fast that her vision eventually turned white.

Then, everything began to come back into focus.

Byleth found herself back sitting down, with Bilith still in her lap and looking up at her beaten and tired face. Their eyes were locked onto one another for an utmost extended period of time, his reassuring smile never falling until the vibrant color of his eyes and hair began to fade. Byleth could do nothing but watch with utter helplessness as her brother closed his eyes and his grip becoming weaker and weaker until it nearly fell out of her own hands. And in that moment, she let out an unrestrained wail of anguish.


End file.
